Locus of Control: Internal vs External
Prioritizing People with an Internal Locus of Control
It’s easier to change yourself than to change other people. You determine your actions. Other people determine their actions. Achieving goals is making your actions representing independent variables lead to outcomes that are dependent variables.
In psychology, there is a concept called locus of control. In its simplest form, locus of control represents two ways of thinking:
Internal Locus of Control: I make things happen.
External Locus of Control: Things happen to me.
The first step to solidifying an internal locus of control is controlling your breathing.
Controlling your breathing leads to controlling your heart beat.
Controlling your heartbeat leads to controlling your thoughts.
Controlling your thoughts leads to controlling your experience of reality.
How do you control your breathing? Slow deep breathing through your nose where exhales are longer than your inhales allows you to slow your heart rate. The inverse is true. Use both as needed to to maintain equilibrium.
Observe your breathing. If it changes, equalize your breathing first. Then observe and determine the source. Determine if you want this situation to continue. If not - leave.
If you leave and the problem is following you - it is time to take action and eliminate the problem.
You make things happen. You don’t wait for things to happen to you. This is the key to fortifying an internal locus of control.
The first step to this is observing and controlling your breathing.
The second step to achieving an internal locus of control is to eliminate mental loads associated with waiting for other people’s decisions.
Waiting for other people’s decisions leads to a lack of agency. It leads to an external locus of control. If they don’t decide, you never proceed.
The only thing worse is waiting for a person who can’t decide because they are waiting for another person to decide.
Now you are just spending your life waiting. Your thoughts are about what will happen after someone else makes a decision. When does it end? Never. Unless you make a decision yourself.
Don’t wait for decisions from people who are incapable of making choices. If you are going to ask anyone anything - go directly to the decision maker. Otherwise, you will develop an external locus of control. This is undesirable unless you want to go through life complaining about problems that will never be fixed.
Thinking is beneficial only if it leads to a higher likelihood of a desired outcome through an action. Thinking about what someone else will do is worthless because it has no effect on the desired outcome(s) occurring.
I didn’t have a language for this concept before so I couldn’t express a preference for it. Now that I do, I have made a decision.
I am only looking to interact with people that have a strong internal locus of control for the foreseeable future. I am impatient and I’m done waiting.
