Alignment in relationships comes from clarity. I realized this at the end of one my vinyasa yoga classes.
Clarity of Thought
Clarity of thought is the first step to alignment. You are the singular constant in your life. Find clarity to these questions: What do you want? What don’t you want?
Clarity of Voice
Articulate what you want and don’t want. Articulate your viewpoint not because you are seeking approval. Articulate your viewpoint to provide transparency. This is the only way other people can understand your thoughts.
Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. This is especially true with unsaid words.
Will some people find conflict with your words? They will. Will some people consciously misinterpret your words? They will. None of this matters. These people are not right for you.
Clarity of Action
Act in a manner that is consistent with what you want and don’t want.
I’ll demonstrate how I found alignment in my relationships as an example.
Clarity of Thought
What do I want?
Transparency
Intellectual stimulation
Quality time without external distractions
What don’t I want?
Spending time with people I dislike.
People who infect my social circle with people I dislike.
Listening to BS.
Clarity of Voice
What do I want?
“Be direct, I don’t like guessing games.”
“This is interesting. Tell me more.”
“I’m here to spend time and listen to you - not random people.”
What don’t I want?
“I don’t like this person. Spend time with them without me.”
“Don’t introduce people I dislike to people I know. Or you will be viewed as a source of social contamination.”
“Bye.”
Clarity of Action
What do I want?
Spend more time with people that have alignment
What don’t I want?
Eliminate the time I spend with people that lack alignment
Alignment comes from the shortest path between points. A line that removes hesitation.
Clarity of Thought.
Clarity of Voice.
Clarity of Action.
This is excellent! I couldn't find the words to articulate some annoying experiences I had recently, but this states it perfectly.